STATE HOUSE TOP SECRET REVEALED....HERE ARE THE 5 REASONS WHY PRESIDENT UHURU LOVES WEARING SILK SHIRTS WHEN HE IS MEETING POOR KENYANS
1. They Are Slippery
Just like a snail,these tu-silk shirts are slippery as hell. And you know just how much the poor crowds love grabbing at a famous person and reaching out to him and trying to pull him over to them. Uhuru Kenyatta obviously knows that it's a risky thing to visit the slums and the villages and throw himself into the charged crowds,therefore,the silk shirts. Silk shirts are very slippery and that's good because that will mean that you cannot successfully grab the President and pull him over to the crowd for a selfie or whatever. He needs to slip away from the hands and the crowds and the shoves. Thus,the silk shirts. Try pulling someone over by grabbing their silk shirt. Impossible. Perfect plan,Bwana Rais.
2. They Are Cheap
For as little as Ksh. 350,you can own a silk shirt too. In fact,everyone's daddy has a silk shirt somewhere. Yes,even your brokest uncles have one at some corner of their wardrobe. You don't want to visit poor crowds while rocking a $500 dollar Giorgio Armani shirt. Or a $800 dollar Karl Lagerfeld shirt. You need to look as poor as practically possible. Hence,a recycled silk shirt. Genius.
3. They Are Sweat-absorbent
Let's face it,huge crowds of poor people sweat a lot. A lot. And just like a yawn,sweat is contagious. If you're surrounded by like one thousand sweating souls,you're gonna sweat too. These crowds are usually very charged and pushy and fussy and uncontrollable. And amid all the madness and the messiness,Uhuru Kenyatta obviously sweats a lot. Nothing absorbs sweat better than a good old silk shirt. Nothing. Not even these deodorants you see them advertising on TV before 9'o'clock news. Ready for a sweaty day? Throw on a silk shirt. That'll do the trick.
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